...you know, I'm trying, and I can't come up with anything? Weird :) Of course, it's because I'm a white European, and it's hard to see yourself from the outside.

I love the idea, though.

[EDIT] Apparently I'm posting this 23 hours ago. Interesting bug :) [/EDIT]
[DOUBLE EDIT] Oh, crap. After I edited it, the bug ran away. [/DOUBLE EDIT]

There already is a game based on this, to a large degree -- Marcus Rowland's Diana: Warrior Princess is based on treating modern-day Europe/America in the same way that Xena: Warrior Princess treated ancient Greece.

There's also a PDF supplement, Elvis: The Legendary Tours -- adding new settings, new characters and gods, the Mystic Power of Music, Elvis Impersonators, the martial art of Sudoku, and much much more.

I think there's definitely room for Caucasian Adventures, though. I'm pondering ideas for it now. It should really be a take-off of D&D's "Oriental Adventures" in a similar way to how Rowland sends up Xena.

I sort of think there needs to be a "MIDWEST" between california and virginia.

New York is obviously between Virginia and Vinland (Los Angeles is the islands off the coast of California, for sure). We need a 'York' somewhere too (because who can have a 'new' without the 'old'). Make it the capital of the Holy Roman Empire or something.

there should be two games here, a quick play for people first picking things up and wanting to take a spin, and an extended game for people who are into more crunch.

these should be called plain and extra plain

Posted By: Kevin Allen Jrthese should be called plain and extra plain

I'm thinking "dry" and "with mayo."

Does it have authentic Caucasian fighting styles?
Don't forget "corporation acquisition" style, "frivolous lawsuit" technique & "calling in a favor"-fu.

I am doomed to write up some Actual Play.

So rather than try to write something up completely, here are some of my thoughts on Caucasian mythology. Now, it's important to remember that in reality, Caucasians aren't actually all one culture. Actually, they don't even speak the same language! Thus, "Caucasian" mythology will actually a mix of different sources. But I think to have playable PC clerics, we need to simplify.

One thing which not many people know is that the word "Caucasian" comes from the Caucasus mountains in Europe. This regions had a fascination for most of the Caucasians, and it was where one of their important gods, Prometheus, comes from.

So, let's take some prominent gods:

Prometheus - God of Progress

The god who brought fire to mankind and furthered technology. He can also take the form of an eagle, and that is used as a symbol for many of the Caucasians. As an eagle, he can throw arrows from his claws -- this is a symbol of the power of progress, and the Caucasians still use this symbol today.

The Mighty Thor - God of Strength

One of their popular gods, he wears a winged helmet and flies using a magic hammer. He is also known as "The Avenger", and his followers as "The Avengers".

Santa Claus - God of Wealth

He generally appears as a jovial fat man dressed in red, and he has a flying sleigh and a enormous bag full of valuable stuff. He lives in the frozen north of Caucasian, where he has armies of elven servants.

Venus - Goddess of Beauty

She is known by several names, including Aprodite ("ah pro dit") and Marilyn Monroe. She is also the goddess of the sea, and is often associated with beaches and the sea. She rides in a giant clamshell that can appear anywhere from the sea.

Jesus - God of the Sun

He is often pictured with a glowing light coming from him, and his holy day is "Sunday". Sometimes he is simply called the Sun God. He is closely associated with Santa Claus, and on his holy day his followers will dress in their most expensive clothes and gather to compare who has the finest.

I think that's sufficient for the moment. We need to give them their spell domains, I guess.

The Holy Ghost: God of Death.

This evil-aligned God is the master of necromancy and the undead. Widely misunderstood and feared, his dark cults nonetheless exist in every city in Caucasia. He has no holy days, but his worshippers will congregate in eery "midnight masses" where they drink blood.

yrs--
--Ben

More character classes for Caucasians:

- President/Prime Minister
- Queen
- Astronaut
- CEO
- Suffragette
- Crusader
- Idle Rich
- Klansman
- Nun/Monk
- Hockey/Lacrosse Player
- Socialist
- Police Officer
- Televangelist
- Witch/Sorcerer
- Cowboy/girl
- Hippie
- Minuteman
- Hacker
- Brewer
- Skateboarder

Don't forget to include a sidebox on how Caucasia is patriarchal society in which women are second class citizens and denied basic rights. However, [set of excuses and lame options for making female characters more playble].

I love you guys. ^_^

As is always the case, the perfect ruleset for Caucasian Adventures has already been written. It's called Primetime Adventures.

Dogs In the Vineyard is also perfectly suited, using the existing setting.

Posted By: DanielSolisOh! New Prestige Class: The Apologist - The guy who tries to adopt the customs of another culture.

I can't tell if this is really subtle and clever (advocating the controversial notion of multiculturalism? advocating the controversial notion that other cultures have value?) or a non sequitur. Maybe it's just a joke intended to portray a misunderstanding of western European schools of philosophical thought?

Posted By: Call Me CurlyAs is always the case, the perfect ruleset for Caucasian Adventures has already been written. It's called Primetime Adventures.

Dogs In the Vineyard is also perfectly suited, using the existing setting.

I'd been assuming we were writing for something D&D-ish, since the title seems clearly inspired by the Oriental Adventures supplement -- and it split off from a thread on a Mythic India D&D-like game.

I can picture a PtA "Caucasian Adventures" game. After all, the Caucasian people do have their own television shows, and some of them are even known outside of Caucasia. (Note: I know that there isn't really such a sharp division of what "Caucasia" is, but I think everyone knows what I'm talking about.) However, I think it would end up being more about television than being about game stuff like Oriental Adventures -- and I'd prefer to parallel the game stuff.

Some more:

The Televangelist
The Self-Recriminating Liberal
The Green Peacer
The Aging Hipster
The Grunge Rocker
The Surfer Dude
The Valley Boy/Girl
The Nouveau Riche
The Blue Blood

EDIT: and there needs to be a gun on the cover.

No no no. Keep the gun off the cover, and in the book's weapon section talk about all the merits and benefits of gun control (simultaneously with the right to bear arms) just before the huge gun-weapon list.

I think you need racial modifiers for Albinos. You know, the race with red hair and freckles. They drink whisky and have Drunken Master Brawling skills.

I totally want the inhabitants of Knudepunkt to be called "punks" and their culture be derived mainly from the punk subculture. Especially if they're handing out the Nobel prizes.

Ancient Greek/Roman/Viking/Neanderthal magical artifacts and catacombs need to be everywhere.

Also, can Caucasia be surrounded by a wall of fire that keeps it isolated and ethnically homogenous from the rest of the world? Or maybe just a Wall Of Loathing?

Initiate Feats

Though all of the Caucasian gods have devoted followers, some go to greater lengths than most. These individuals are known as Initiates. Any worshiper with a Devotion rating greater than 6 qualifies to select an appropriate Initiate feat, but beware! Only the loyal can maintain the benefits (see chapter 12: faith and heresy).

An Initiate of a god qualifies for all of the god's Martial Combat feats and proficiencies as though they were a monk or nun of that god.


Initiate of Prometheus
Initiates of Prometheus are advocates of technology and mechanization. Recently, the faithful of Prometheus have been called upon to venture beyond even the land itself, as their god did. The Initiates of Prometheus are at the forefront of this movement, and, despite setbacks, are working on a great ship that will carry them to distant home of their god.

Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Evangelical damage, and receive a bonus die on Progressive damage rolls.

Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Prometheus feat may treat all spells with the [Fire] descriptor as spells known.

Initiate of Thor
Initiates of Thor are great hockey players, firefighters, and construction workers. Many of the strongest of Thor's Initiates compete in a continual set of wrestling tournaments held in Thor's honor - raucous spectacles that are often interrupted by other Initiates. Nevertheless, these tournaments are the cornerstone of daily worship for Thor's faithful. The ranks of Thor's Avengers are drawn from the winners of these tournaments, and to be one of Thor's Avenger's is the highest honor an Initiate of Thor can dream of.

Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Slamming damage and Submission damage, and receive a bonus die on improved weapon attack rolls.

Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Thor feat may treat all spells with the [Wrestling] descriptor as spells known.

Initiate of Santa Claus
Wealth is the domain of Santa Claus, so it is only proper that the Initiates of Santa Claus are among the wealthiest of all Caucasians. Following their god's example, Initiates of Santa Claus are always plump and finely dressed, and carry large bags of wealth. These bags are usually labeled to indicate the amount contained, such as 50 lbs. for a bag containing 50 pounds sterling (see chapter 4: daily life in Caucasia). Initiates of Santa Claus use these bags to smite their enemies and reward loyalty in their servants and slaves.

Benefit: Initiates of Santa Claus are immune to Frosty damage, owing to their mastery over snowy monsters, and receive a bonus die on Pragmatic damage rolls.

Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Santa Claus feat may cast all spells with the [Sterling] descriptor as though they were two levels higher.

Venus - Goddess of Beauty
Stunning and captivating, Initiates of Venus bring joy and strife in equal measures. Regardless of what they use their talents and abilities for, Initiates of Venus are always able to bring attention to themselves. They regularly take part in strange sexual rites which are recorded and used as part of daily worship among Venus's faithful (see chapter 19: the interweb-net).

Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Psychoanalysis damage, and receive a bonus die on Binding attack rolls.

Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Venus feat may treat all spells with the [Cosmetician] descriptor as spells known.

Jesus - God of the Sun
Initiates of Jesus promote the traditional ways of Caucasian culture. As the oldest Caucasian god, Jesus favors the old ways, and his Initiates fight against those who would alter them. They seek to bring the ways of the Sun God to the forefront in all things. Jesus, acting through important Caucasian leaders, regularly delivers orders and directions to his Initiates, and the Initiates of Jesus are always quick to respond.

Benefit: Initiates of Jesus are immune to Progressive damage, and receive a bonus die on Evangelical damage rolls.

Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Jesus feat may treat all spells with the [Sun] descriptor as spells known.

The Holy Ghost: God of Death.
Initiates of The Holy Ghost have learned the secrets of time and decay, and many use this to remain perpetually young in appearance. They attempt to convert temples of other gods, most often Jesus, to their faith, and use them as the sites of their Midnight Masses and cannibalistic rituals of blood-drinking and flesh-eating. As masters of undeath, they have the power to transform ordinary matter into undead fluids and tissues. Many Initiates wear elaborate makeup, tall hats and robes, and other disguises to hide their true identities.

Benefit: Initiates of The Holy Ghost are immune to Traditional damage, and receive a bonus die on Existential damage rolls.

Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of The Holy Ghost feat may treat all spells with the [Gothic] descriptor as spells known.

Lawn darts?

This comic is a pretty good representation of what a good Caucasian adventure should look like.

You know, just to be semi-serious for a second, at the back of Gygax's 1985 "Oriental Adventures," he does a fairly nice 2-page summary of the basics of Chinese & Japanese feudal culture. This isn't meant to excuse the general wrongheadedness of "Oriental Adventures" as a concept and as a product, but as far as that particular setting material goes, people have done much worse (viz., Kara-Tur Campaign Setting, which is 100x bigger and utterly useless).

Given the enormity and complexity of the subject matter, and an admittedly artificially-imposed limit of 1000 words or so, I would be shocked if someone could do much better.

Posted By: Jonathan WaltonJames, is that a design challenge? (Write a "foreign" campaign setting in 1000 words that doesn't promote stereotypes or racism?) Because it certainly smells like one.

And, imho, much more appealing and constructive than 90% of what's going on in this thread.

Clearly there should be only a few classes. As such:

Blonde Hair: Powerful charisma and appearance bonuses. Skilled at intrigue and seduction bonuses. Several special secretarial feats.

Blond Hair: Powerful charisma and appearance bonuses. Skilled at surfing and partying. Several special pretty boy feats.

Brown/Black Hair: Probably a banker or lawyer or librarian. As such, powerful intelligence and technology bonuses. Skilled at beurocracy and financing. Several special workplace-specific feats.

Red Hair: Fiesty and assertive, with powerful strength and appearance bonuses. Skilled at fighting and sex. Several bezerker rage feats.

White Hair: Additional 500,000 starting gold. Skilled at buying and selling.

Posted By: Simon CCaucasian names can be confusing to the modern ear. Here's a handy list of names to generate an authentic-sounding caucasian name in seconds! Just roll once on each table to generate a first and last name. Optionally, you can generate a "middle" name as well...

Wow... this is some epic win right here. Only one of the Ultimate Paragons of the Caucasian peoples can express this properly: the only Caucasian to ever have a Coolness of 13.

Only for men. :\

And don't forget this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZCNrf0IH_U

CU

My friend Chris wrote this based on a conversation he and I had about this thread, and I had to post it:

Jehovah, God of Plagues and Love
Level 30 Deity
AC: 50 (+30 Toga of Godly Might)
HP: 999
Special Attacks: Plagues, Create Flood, Forgiveness, Animate Dead, Sacrifice Son

Jehovah, like the Roman god Janus (or the He-Man figure Man-E-Faces) possesses multiple personalities that make him an unpredictable adversary. He claims dominion over all creation and alternately smites or saves his followers according to his enigmatic grand plan. Jehovah rarely reaps vengeance upon those who directly harm him, instead choosing to demoralize his enemies by slaying their first born.

Jehovah shuns physical combat in favor of attacking opponents with locusts or cones of acid that cause flesh to erupt in hideous boils. When sufficiently angered, Jehovah will create a deluge to sweep his foes into the sea. As Jehovah has conquered death, he can create an army of undead at will, and he is guarded at all times by the arch-lich Lazarus.

If an enemy manages to strike Jehovah down, they may be surprised to find that they have instead slain his son, Jesus, who he can sacrifice to heal all damage.

Posted By: buzzNobody mention this yet?

Diana: Warrior Princess, the RPG

Seemed relevant.

Actually, I did in post #4 on this thread.

The tropes of what Hercules and Xena do to ancient Greece are different than what Oriental Adventures and parallel games do to East Asia. But there are similarities.

"and the News" is better than the whole rest of this thread.

Not that the rest of the thread isn't rad. :D

As a fairly serious Christian, I think this bit is absolutely freakin' brilliant:

If an enemy manages to strike Jehovah down, they may be surprised to find that they have instead slain his son, Jesus, who he can sacrifice to heal all damage.

Uses: 1 per 3 days.

Chinese ninjas, eh?

I think I need to make a T shirt that says, "Charlie Chaplin: Chinese Ninja".

I understand those ones are called Normanic? And I think they have horns. I know, some people say that's a myth, but this is mythic Caucasia we're talking about here!

I just assumed Jew would be a prestige class.

Posted By: Sydney FreedbergTheir arch-enemies are Karl Marx and his mad Marx Brothers, who quest endlessly to destroy the Order's its most sacred artifact, the Hand itself. The Hand is said to have belonged to an ancient necromancer named Adam Smith

Can't stop laughing!

Posted By: Sydney FreedbergThe Order of the Invisible Hand

Caucasia's material prosperity comes at a terrible price. While it may appear that merchants, artisans, and shopkeepers buy and sell freely, in truth their every action is dictated by the sorcery of theInvisible Hand.

Did you hear that? I think that was the sound of Adam Smith rolling in his grave. Oh, wait...he's a lich, so I guess he doesn't have a grave.

Oh, I know. I thought it was funny. The ninja parallel makes me wonder whether we should have something on the Navy Seals...fierce warriors whose training allows them powers of invisibility, shape-shifting, and flight.

No no, they don't fly. They "swim in the air like it was the water." :)

Tank-destroying six-guns, absolutely. Navy were-seals, yes, absolutely. Roleplayers should be satanist were-swine wielding rocket-propelled grenades deep in the bowels of the steam tunnels, because, y'know, the acronym "RPG," which is clearly meant to be pronounced "are pig."

My girlfriend offered this very important detail for authenticity:

"We all know each other. We all went to school together, or our parents went to school together."