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The Best of Story Games: Are you Muy Macho?

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  1.  
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006 edited
     # 1

    Okay, recent discussions on my own forum have incited me to identify a credo by which I game. Before it goes public on hard, unrelentingly oppositional fora with limited senses of humor, I figured I'd trot it out here for some refining.

    The Muy Macho Credo

    I am Muy Macho! I am tough enough to take anything you can dish out, and come back for more with a smile. I don't flinch. I jut my shapely chin forward and tap it lightly, I want you to take your best shot. And when you hit me I want it to hurt. I don't pretend it doesn't hurt. I revel in the fact that it hurts, and I can take it. Can you say the same?

    I am Muy Macho! I don't want any easy victory. Don't softball me. I want your biggest challenge. If I fail, I fail, but I will not wimp out. Can you say the same?

    I am Muy Macho! I will never surrender. No matter how bad it gets, I know I'm going to win. I'm just that damn cool. Up to the very last moment when defeat actually grabs me by the throat and shakes, I will keep fighting, keep striving. Can you say the same?

    I am Muy Macho! I'm not a whiner. When you hurt me, that's cool. When you challenge me, that's cool. When you defeat me, that's cool. Next time I'll do all the same right back at you, and give you a chance to show that you're Muy Macho like me ... not as much so as me, of course (who could be?) but in the same general vein. Maybe I can teach you to be Micro Macho. Mini-Macho. Can you say the same?

    I am Muy Macho! I'm not a spectator. I go out and seek pain and challenge and victory. You cannot stop me. You cannot keep me from these things. I will not stay still, and I will not wait for a better time. These are my goals, and I will pursue them at every moment. Can you say the same?

    So that's my first shot at the Muy Macho credo. Are there places where it is offensive without meaning to be? Are there other elements of the credo which I have taken for granted, and therefore not properly listed?

    And, most importantly ... are you Muy Macho?

    •  
      CommentAuthordroog
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 2
    Soy más macho que usted.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJasonP
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 3
    Looks good to me.

    Not sure if I am Muy Macho or just a wannabe...
    • CommentAuthorAnders
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 4
    I am a limp wristed wimp.

    I'd like to learn to be mini-macho though.
  5.  # 5
    Muy Machos are Sado-masochistic bastards.

    I'm a sadistic bastard. When you will hurt me with your best, it will not hurt.
    When you will hurt me, I will cut your tendons and watch you flail pitifully without being able to reach me.
    I will laugh at you.

    I will note one thing though. The Muy Macho is like a wrestler, only fights those who enter the arena. The Muy Macho knows what he's getting into, and he expects his opponents to know the same.

    You have a bit of my sadistic bastard tendencies, as you also wail on those outside the arena.

    I eat Muy Machos for breakfast, and then slice their noses off.
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 6

    I'm a sadistic bastard. When you will hurt me with your best, it will not hurt.

    That is because you are not Muy Macho. You fear pain. You deny its power with your words, then flee it at every turn by picking fights where you have the advantage. You would cripple your enemies by surprise, then laugh at them, to assuage your terrible fear.

    I am Muy Macho. I do not fear pain. I respect its power, and oppose it with my own Macho. I seek it at every turn by picking fights any fearful man would avoid. I face my enemies with my head held high, eager to sample their strength. Can you say the same?

    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 7

    Soy más macho que usted.

    I'll have to check the by-laws, but I think that actually knowing Spanish may disqualify you from being genuinely Muy Macho.

    • CommentAuthorLarry
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006 edited
     # 8
    Is this similar to what's getting referred to as a "Yang Narrativist?"

    I think we already know these things about you, Tony, based on your game designs.

    My only criticism is it would look way cooler as ¡Muy Macho!
  9.  # 9
    Tony...

    You rock.

    Yes.

    I tilt my head like a confused puppy when others pull their punches.

    I am Muy Macho... when everyone gets into the ring.

    -Eric
  10.  # 10
    You misunderstand, as is the Muy Macho way! You get pain and that re-establishes your link to reality. You are nothing without pain. Pain you inflict, pain you receive.

    I use pain as a tool. The master does not let the tools control him.
    I am the Master.

    Even a stronger opponent(if such can be found) that would hit me, I will not feel the pain. The pain will be denied. Not out of fear, but out of understanding that it has no use. At least on this end.

    It's all about being nice and giving.
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 11

    My only criticism is it would look way cooler as ¡Muy Macho!

    Oh, I am so taking that criticism on-board. Yes, it clearly must be ¡Muy Macho!

    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006 edited
     # 12

    I will not feel the pain. The pain will be denied. Not out of fear, but out of understanding that it has no use. At least on this end.

    Okay, if you're in this thread then you are at risk of being treated as if you are (at least potentially) ¡Muy Macho!

    I read your first post and I said "Yes! He is ¡Muy Macho! He is setting himself up to be slammed. When I slam him, he will accept the validity of the slam, and we will both revel in his Macho." But your response ... it is not ¡Muy Macho!

    You're flinching. You're pretending that your opponent (me!) has not scored a telling blow. That's all well and good in your little world of master-games. If you're serious about that, I think it would fit better in its own thread. It's confusing here.

    You stay here? I say you're a coward! I say that fear has made you its bitch, and that you'd pass out from a paper-cut. I say all these things proudly, and I jut my chin out just so, waiting for you to slam me back, because I am ... ¡Muy Macho!

    •  
      CommentAuthorJMendes
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 13
    Hehey, :)

    I do not know whether I am iMuy Macho!

    Noone has ever tried to hurt me...

    Except insofar as "they" try to hurt me by not hurting me. If that counts, then I guess I'm whining, which makes me not iMuy Macho!

    But if that doesn't count... well, then I just don't know...

    Cheers,
    J.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJosh Roby
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 14
    Tony, or, um, Mister Muy Macho, I get the feeling that you play lots of short-run games, and don't indulge in long-running epic-format play-a-whole-damn-year sorts of games. Is that the case? Because:

    Next time I'll do all the same right back at you, and give you a chance to show that you're Muy Macho like me ...

    ...seems to imply that you're happy to lose this game because there's another game just over the horizon. Or, failing that, if you lose this conflict, there's another conflict over the horizon for which you will be fresh as a spring chicken, and not still reeling from your most recent defeat.

    Does My Macho apply to the long-ass high-iteration games where players reinact, like, the Ring Cycle or the Simarrilion?
  15.  # 15
    I am iMuy Macho!, but only when playing with other iMuy Macho! players.

    Because the iMuy Macho! player that tries to be iMuy Macho! when he does not have iMuy Macho! opposition is a bully, a non-macho, and a thug. On them I spit with contept.

    But you Tony, oh you my iMuy Macho! friend, you I WILL BEAT AT CAPES!
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 16

    Joshua: I was talking about conflicts, not whole games.

    And ... fresh as a spring chicken? No! I neither need nor want to be fresh, for I am iMuy Macho!. If you beat my guy's army and imprison him and burn out his eyes and erase all record of him from history and lock him away to rot ... I am thrilled! Because now I get to show how incredible is my Macho, by beating your guy anyway!

    If you didn't put me at that massive handicap I would have to seek it out, for how else can I showcase a Macho as great as mine? I salute you, my eye-gouging friend, truly you understand the iMuy Macho!.

  17.  # 17
    I now want to make a special game of Capes at GenCon. Capes: The iMuy Macho! Crusade, in which the point is to define what iMuy Macho! is to the next generation, to set an exemplar of iMuy Macho! for all to see and fear.
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006 edited
     # 18

    Because the iMuy Macho! player that tries to be iMuy Macho! when he does not have iMuy Macho! opposition is a bully, a non-macho, and a thug. On them I spit with contept.

    Not ... not necessarily.

    Those who treat the non-Macho as a ¡Muy Macho! would wish to be treated, yes, they are beneath contempt. But you will note that very little of the credo is aimed at how you treat others. Almost all of it (and, really, I should correct it to be all of it by explicitly changing the "Next time I will do the same to you" to read "Next time I will do the same to you (but only if you, too, are ¡Muy Macho!, of course)") is about how you, personally, address adversity.

    I'm pretty sure that the ¡Muy Macho! credo can be executed by a lone person in a game full of wimps without disturbing the wimps ... except for their entirely understandable death by envy, when they realize that they have a ¡Muy Macho! in their midst, and they can never compare.

  19.  # 19
    <i>I'm pretty sure that the ¡Muy Macho! credo can be executed by a lone person in a game full of wimps without disturbing the wimps

    Only if those whimps are the kind that can dish it out but not take it. If they can neither dish it out nor take it, then where is the chance to get it in the face the way a really ¡Muy Macho! man must?

    Plus, to be honest, when I play with those who cannot take it, I do not have so much interest in forcing them to hit me that I might prove my ¡Muy Macho!ness. At that point it feels too much like the former highschool football star forcing the guys at the office to hit him in the arm so that he might relive the days of ¡Muy Macho! glory. If you are in a circle of cooperators, then attempting your ¡Muy Macho! ways is not ¡Muy Macho! it is only ¡Muy Triste!.

    True and hardcore ¡Muy Macho! play requires a warrior society. Without ¡Muy Macho! sisters and brothers to contend with, how can I prove my bravery? There is nothing noble about being the tallest tree in a desert, some pathetic and scraggley scrub pine hissing to itself that it stands above all the rest. It is only when you tower above the forest that you are a lord, and only then that true ¡Muy Macho! can be established.
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 20

    Ah, it is so true! Particularly that desert and forest thing.

    I was thinking more of my glorious days of nineties roleplaying, back when the games were a contest of ¡Muy Macho! between me (taking the hits and coming back for more) and the GM (delivering the hits and admiring my Macho) ... and, oh yeah, the envious other players who huddled in terror, hoping that Tony would continue to be the lightning rod for all of the horrible, horrible things the GM was dishing out, which they knew they were not Macho enough to survive themselves.

    But yes, I concede all your points without reservation. The life of a ¡Muy Macho! can be a tremendous challenge!

  21.  # 21
    It seems my own POV has limited my response. I was thinking of being ¡Muy Macho! either in a game where you are the GM or where you have no GM (or limtied GMing) -- as those have been the majority of my experience. In those cases you must have other ¡Muy Macho! players to be ¡Muy Macho! yourself.

    But, to be a ¡Muy Macho! player standing against a central authority GM with the power to hit you with unlimited resources, and to then stand as the raging bulwark between that fury and the members of your tribe that you are sworn to protect? That is ¡Muy Macho!! That is not the little fish in the big pond, that is the lone hero standing against the gods themselves!
    • CommentAuthorLarry
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 22
    The HTML tag for Mexican exclamation point is
    &amp;iexcl;
    Or Alt+(0161) in Windows. Just in case you wanted to know.

    Oddly, this thread has giving me a craving for burritos.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBen Lehman
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 23
    I object to the name. Because, while it is possible and commendable to play Polaris in the style that you describe, it is absolutely impossible to play that game without being an effete poofter.

    yrs--
    --Ben
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006 edited
     # 24

    Ben: So you've made a game for ¡Muy Macho Effete Poofters! Where's the problem?

    •  
      CommentAuthorBen Lehman
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 25
    Your contradiction pains me.
    • CommentAuthorLarry
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006 edited
     # 26

    No. ¡Muy macho! does so apply to Polaris. I will prove it using my unquestionable Flawless Logic.

    1. ¡Muy macho! is a phrase in Spanish.

    2. Polaris is about knights.

    3. Spanish has nothing to do with knights... EXCEPT

    4. Don Quixote is in Spanish.

    5. Don Quixote is a knight.

    6. Don Quixote is a knight who pursues a goal which is folly.

    7. Polaris features knights who pursue a goal which is folly.

      THEREFORE

    8. Spanish is a knight who pursues a goal which is folly. (4, 6)

    9. ¡Muy Macho! is a knight who pursues a goal which is folly. (1, 8)

    10. Polaris is Don Quixote (6, 7)

    11. Polaris is ¡Muy Macho! (9, 10)

    What? Don't make me come over there...

    EDIT: Fixed numbering. Accursed Markdown, making me look like some kind of insane fool!

  27.  # 27
    Larry,

    I like what you say and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
  28.  # 28
    I'd like to fix your numbering scheme though!
    • CommentAuthorJ. Walton
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 29
    I am not ¡Muy Macho! I am a girly hippie commie pinko. As if that wasn't obvious.
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2006
     # 30

    You need a credo, my girly, hippie commie pinko friend! Others will flock to your banner, this I swear!

  31.  # 31
    Jonathan,

    Are you also dirty? Because if you're a dirty girl hippie commie pinko then you may be able to rule the world.
    •  
      CommentAuthorGraham
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 32
    Could I just clarify Muy Macho's attitude to winning?

    I understand that Muy Macho never doubts he is going to win. Personally, I think it would be much more macho of him if he did doubt he was going to win - if he was plunged into the darkest depths of self-doubt and despair - but then he came through with renewed self-confidence and won anyway, despite his earlier doubts.

    I'm probably too English to be macho myself, but I do have a stiff upper lip around here somewhere.

    Graham
    • CommentAuthorherrmess
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 33
    Is that some kind of character class writeup for an upcoming Chuck Norris RPG?

    MarK.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJasonP
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 34
    Hmmm. /dirty?/ girly hippie commie pinko. What does that entail exactly?

    Herrmess,
    Chuck Norris round house kicks his dice to roll them. Always NAT 20.
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 35

    Could I just clarify Muy Macho's attitude to winning?

    I'm not sure that was a clarification so much as it was a recommendation. I respect your angsty-spirit, my friend, but the ¡Muy Macho! has no such doubts.

    • CommentAuthorArturo G.
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006 edited
     # 36
    Larry:

    # Spanish has nothing to do with knights... EXCEPT
    # Don Quixote is in Spanish.


    Arrggghh...!! ¡No me lo puedo creer!

    As a Spanish man I could get offended by this statement. Do you want to provoke me to duel? Don't forget that my Castilian blood is still full of the spirit of our Goth kings ;-)

    BTW, in Spain the word "macho" has much degenerated to be used for example to talk with mockery about cocky-youngsters, or about male chauvinists.

    Mexicans are more "macho" than Spanish people.
    I cannot be ¡Muy Macho!.

    (Edited to add the last statements)
    •  
      CommentAuthorBen Lehman
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 37

    Jon -- I object to the idea that political ideology has anything to do with ¡Muy Macho!ness. In fact, I would think that most hippies and commies are better equipped to take, understand, and use pain and suffering than corp-fascists, who are really mostly bluster.

    Arturo -- I would never dream of saying that the only Spanish knight is Don Quixote. There's also El Cid, right? ;-)

    yrs--
    --Ben

    •  
      CommentAuthorVaxalon
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 38
    Don't forget Roland.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJMendes
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 39
    Hey, :)

    The French guy? Yeah! He definitely was iMuy Macho!

    Cheers,
    J.
  40.  # 40
    Every culture has men that are iMuy Macho! -- even modern America. There are two of them. Tony and Clint Eastwood.

    That is all.
  41.  # 41


    I just happened to have a catalog of hand-painted Ghanian movie posters on my desk...this guy seemd to exemplify your ideals.
    •  
      CommentAuthorVaxalon
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 42
    He's not wounded.

    Jason, that guy can't be Muy Macho (by this definition) unless he has achieved his aims in spite of suffering pain.
    • CommentAuthorLarry
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 43
    Wow. Just fucking wow.

    If I saw a book that looked like that on a shelf, I'd consider buying it.
    • CommentAuthorLarry
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006
     # 44

    Fred, we don't know that his mind hasn't been wounded!

  45.  # 45
    Wolfe, Ernie. Extreme canvas: Hand-Painted Movie Posters from Ghana. New York: Distributed Art Publishers, 2000.

    I can't even tell you how amazing it is. And Fred, he's holding the decapitated head of what is either bad perspective or a child or both. I'd say he's wounded, myself!
    • CommentAuthorLarry
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2006 edited
     # 46

    See, I assumed it was like a shrunken head, because he cuts off the heads of his foes and shrinks them somehow, because he's just that ¡Muy Macho!

    It could also be the head of the evil midget sorcerer, or some kid's doll. For some reason, I don't want to believe the guy is actually just a giant.

    If you look real close, I think dude has a cleft palate.

    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     # 47

    Jason, that guy can't be Muy Macho (by this definition) unless he has achieved his aims in spite of suffering pain.

    No, no people ... the guy in the upper left corner. He is ¡Muy Macho!

    He's totally gonna bite that guy's fuckin' ear off, any moment now.

  48.  # 48
    Pain is weakness leaving the body!
  49.  # 49
    [Ricardo Montalban voice]

    Ah, Anthony, Anthony, Anthony. You are so very, very close! And yet, at the exact same time, you are so very far from being close! As yet you are only...meso-macho.

    Why do you cling to the prospect of future victory, like a little boy clutching his cuddly, pudgy teddy bear as the thunderstorm rages outside? Why do you avert your eyes from the lightning flash, little Anthony, when it is the one thing that can truly let you see in this dark world?

    Of course you should seek to triumph over others: It is your obligation to them! But your reward does not lie beyond defeat -- it lies within it -- for only there can you learn the truth about yourself!

    If victory comes of your efforts, let it come; victory is pleasant, like a cool breeze to a man amidst his mighty labors; but it is not your goal, my son, it is not your goal. Your struggle is not the means to an end: It is the end! Cast aside all consoling thoughts of future victory and embrace the insights of this agony -- here and now!

    [/Ricardo Montalban voice]
    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2006
     # 50

    You speak like Ricardo Montalban, and so what you say must be wise, but I am confused. Advise me, Ricardo Montalban!

    If you do not seek victory then you do not suffer when it is wrested from your hands. How can that contentment be ¡Muy Macho!?

    • CommentAuthorTonyLB
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     # 51

    Here is more proof that I am ¡Muy Macho! I have posted the ¡Muy Macho! Credo to RPG.Net

    •  
      CommentAuthordroog
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     # 52
    I learn, Meester Fawlty, I learn!
    •  
      CommentAuthorJMendes
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     # 53
    Shut up, Manuel! ;)
    •  
      CommentAuthorDevP
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2006
     # 54

    Just to be sure, ¡Muy Macho! gaming, and even ¡Muy Macho!-narrativism is not the whole of Narrativism. Right? Right. Don't want anyone to get confusing and run into Chuck Norrison the way to the discoteque. Man, that would be awkward.

  55.  # 55
    ¡Muy Macho! is not all there is to Nar. You can have dirty hippy nar just as easily.

    ¡Muy Macho! is all there is, however, to being ¡Muy Macho!
  56.  # 56
    ¡Muy Macho! is all there is, however, to being ¡Muy Macho!

    And with that comes the lotus. Nice job, Brand.
    •  
      CommentAuthorVaxalon
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2006
     # 57
    Is ¡Muy Macho! narrativism a subset of "I Will Not Abandon You"?

1 to 57 of 57

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