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Posted By: stefoidThis game is aimed at action/adventure gaming with strong characterization. I want the conflict resolution to play out like dramatic/cinematic action sequences.
Posted By: stefoidI dont even know if I have explained how the game works yet. In fact Im pretty sure I must have lots of procedural holes in the basic "this is how you play" text which I will need to find and address before I adorn it.
Posted By: Dan MaruschakI think that a lot of people would describe a lot of other games this exact same way. What is cool/unique/interesting/good about your game?
If you don't think you've explained how to play, why are you asking people to try to play it? How are you planning to find and address these holes?
Posted By: stefoidPlease read my doco and comment! its only 20 pages
Posted By: stefoidHi Dan, you mean if I can pitch the game to you, youll playtest it, or just in general?
Posted By: TheWhaleSharkSo I've read it over, and I think you're trying to please everyone. You'll get a lot more mileage by picking a style of story and gunning for that. It's obvious to me that you're going for a movie sort of feeling, so which specific movies were you thinking of when you decided to write a game?Fiasco does something kind of like what you want to do: you pick a Playset and generate relationships and complications using it. Playsets are basically settings, and each playset has lists of items in that setting.I dislike it when a game says, "Just do something! You'll figure it out." Your introduction should include a list of a few example settings, and a list of possible backgrounds associated with each setting - say 15 or so. That way, you've given players and the GM a place to work from, and they also have ready-to-go action.And the more I read it, the more I think you really need to cut down some wording and re-present the information. It sounds like you put a bunch of ideas down on paper. Try organizing the ideas logically into a cohesive form, and I think you'll start getting more ideas as to how to put the game together.From what I can piece together, you seem to be shooting for something that is quite action-packed and also high on drama.What kind of action? What kind of drama? Are we talking aboutUnder SiegeandThe Rock,or are we talking about300? OrIndiana Jones? OrSucker Punch? Those are all radically different movies, and they're radically different types of stories.
I dislike it when a game says, "Just do something! You'll figure it out." Your introduction should include a list of a few example settings, and a list of possible backgrounds associated with each setting - say 15 or so. That way, you've given players and the GM a place to work from, and they also have ready-to-go action.
Posted By: Dan MaruschakPosted By: stefoidHi Dan, you mean if I can pitch the game to you, youll playtest it, or just in general?
Posted By: stefoidBut I am at the stage where playtest feedback is going to be the most effective way of moving forward.
Posted By: masqueradeballI have to completely disagree with both Dan and TheWhaleShark... as soon as I read the first few lines of your game I knew that I wasn't going to be getting an experience like FATE or Burning Wheel and that it wouldn't be for everyone (to use that phrase that was so recently dissected here at Story Games). I think the rules shout a lot...
Posted By: Dan MaruschakPosted By: stefoidBut I am at the stage where playtest feedback is going to be the most effective way of moving forward.
Posted By: Dan MaruschakMaybe you've got a good design in there and are communicating it poorly.
Posted By: stefoidBut why do I have to be more specific than that?
Posted By: stefoidSo not say, Rambo. But maybe Toby Maguire Spiderman.
Posted By: TheWhaleSharkHowever, you lose me in the Story Phase. "Suggest things that sound cool." What? That's crap. Put something crunchy in there. Some kind of mechanic thatdirectsthe Story Phase. Every other part seems quite directed, so don't flounder here. And no, no matter how well your players design their motivations, it won't be enough to "carry" them through the Story Phase. You need some kind of machinery to keep the momentum going.
While you're not necessarily aiming to re-create specific film genres, using films as an anchor point is incredibly useful. How action-packed do you want the game to be?Danger Patrolis an action-packed RPG that escalates to ridiculous points. Do you want your game to have a grittier sort of action? How about more explosive action? Do you want characters that slowly walk away from explosions, or characters that dodge bullets in slow motion, or characters that fight for their lives and barely make it out at the end?The reason to define it a little more - and no, you don't have to say "make this specific kind of movie" - is that your criteria are pretty broad, and a broad-based game often lacks a lot of flavor. Give your game more focus and you can tailor the mechanics exactly to what you want.
Posted By: stefoidNow that might be the type of premise you could build a whole game on, but for my game, its just the first crucial initial step, and Im leaving it to the players.
Posted By: stefoidBut I dont know how to be more explicit yet.
Posted By: stefoidFor me, a certain amount of creative input is a significant part of the fun of roleplaying.
Posted By: TheWhaleSharkPosted By: stefoidPosted By: stefoidBut I dont know how to be more explicit yet.
Posted By: TheWhaleSharkPosted By: stefoidFor me, a certain amount of creative input is a significant part of the fun of roleplaying.
Posted By: stefoidwho constantly seek danger for its own sake
Posted By: TheWhaleSharkPosted By: stefoidwho constantly seek danger for its own sake
Posted By: stefoidWell, OK, so the players get to vary the danger.
Posted By: stefoidDo you mean like, present them with a bunch of archetypes to go with your premise and let them add the detail?
Posted By: masqueradeballbut I don't think he can possible know whether a design feature is "strong" or "weak" without actually playing your game
Posted By: stefoidConcept: A mighty warrior has fallen at Troy, leaving their young sheild and spear bearer lost and alone. In shock, the young man wanders in a daze until one day he arrives starved, raving and begger-like at the (as yet unnamed) small village. He is believed touched by the gods due to his miraculous survival and the appearance of small marks on his ankles, resembling the wings of Hermes.Backgrounds: Soldier 4, Vagrant 2, Noble 2Body5,Will3 big burly lad, but a bit of a headcase ??Motivations:Beliefs: (take a stand)Fear is conquered through insane braveryTenets of ApolloDesire: (drive)knowledge: understand the will of the gods (Why did the gods take his master whom he loved like no other?)Issues: (emotional)self-worth: he secretly believes he isn't made of the right stuff.guilt: He cannot serve another lest he fail againInfluence: (bind and/or compel)Obligation/Duty: The gods are all powerful and cannot be denied.
Posted By: Jon FuhrmanI'll see about sending you some notes from actual testing by the end of next month. Send me a message if you haven't heard from me. Some friends and I are plotting to start Annalise sometime in March and I'll see if we can do back to back sessions of that and your game on one or two nights. I know you only asked for play testing feedback but I'd be happy to markup your document with comments if you think that'd be helpful.
Posted By: Todd LI glanced thru the google doc, and I like what I see.I like your writing. The actual sentences are emminently readable.The outline structure and bullet points are straightforward.The order of information is intuitive.At least that's my first impression.Also,I suspect that the game lacks a showy gimmick for the internet fanboys to rave about.Frankly, I consider that a good thing. If I buy a hammer, I don't need it to have bluetooth and bling.For example, I highly recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/Directing-Film-David-Mamet/dp/0140127224It presents a very stripped-down-the-bare-essentials view of how to build a dramatic story.More stripped down than the prevailing Forge/StoryGames view, I think.Can I promise you an actual playtest, and not let you down?I don't know.I'm headed to Dreamation for the next 4 days, and it's entirely possible I can get a pick-up game going.After that is possible, too. Then again-- sometimes I'm a huge fuckup.I've been failing to organize a photo shoot with 6 bikini models for almost a whole year,despite the models being lined-up and ready to go; and someone-else paying for it!And despite me being a dirty old man!SO... assuming I do get a session going... Is there anything in particular you'd like test-driven?