So i'm working on a one sheet for my new game Sweet Agatha. Below is the ad copy for it. I have some concerns and i figured you all (as both the buying public and some people who try to sell games) could help.
My questions to you: Does it whet your appetite for the product? Does it confuse you about the product at all? Do you want to know more (like in a good way, as in you want to pick it up and read some)? Do you want to know more (in a bad way, as in this doesn't say enough)?
Some things were left out on purpose, to keep the info short and sweet. Those things are: Mention of my last game "Primitive," Mention that Agatha is played by Kiirstin Kuhi, the totally awesome (and radiant) lead singer of NYC-based rock band Ground To Machine, Mention that the game will have a special gen con price, lower than it will be in stores or online after the con, Mention that I will personally hug anyone who picks up the game (ok, thats not true, i was just seeing if you were paying attention).
On with the copy...
Gen Con 07 will see the forthcoming release of Kevin Allen Jr.'s new work "Sweet Agatha." The project is designed to exist as a bridge between the worlds of traditional fiction literature and the story telling hobby.
Sweet Agatha is collection of gorgeous full color artifacts including several photos, a poster, and a 20 page journal. These items all tell the story of the titular character's mysterious disappearance, casting the reader as the only person looking for the answers. As the reader progresses through the stylish, and oftentimes very cryptic journal they are instructed to cut the object apart. Page by page, the journal becomes harder to decipher; the mystery more oblique, until finally they are left with a tattered cut-apart thing and perhaps more questions about the vanishing than they started with. The material cut away becomes the clues to solving the mystery. At this point the reader gets to share the experience with a friend, and together they complete the story of Sweet Agatha through competitive, collaborative storytelling.
Sweet Agatha is a roleplaying experience unlike any other. Not quite a game, and not quite a novel it is a unique product pushing the boundaries of both mediums.