Caucasian Adventures!

edited July 2007 in Story Games
Folks have been brainstorming the idea over on the Mythic India thread. Figure it deserves its own discussion. To recap:

image


In the same way that Japanese-inspired RPGs are sometimes accused of being exotified stereotypes of outsiders looking in, so too is Caucasian Adventures an exaggerated image of white culture.

And go!
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Comments

  • edited July 2007
    ...you know, I'm trying, and I can't come up with anything? Weird :) Of course, it's because I'm a white European, and it's hard to see yourself from the outside.

    I love the idea, though.

    [EDIT] Apparently I'm posting this 23 hours ago. Interesting bug :) [/EDIT]
    [DOUBLE EDIT] Oh, crap. After I edited it, the bug ran away. [/DOUBLE EDIT]
  • Dammit. I just wrote a full set of mechanics for this, then managed to hit the wrong key and delete them all. Gah! Oh well, maybe it's a sign I really shouldn't have posted them. Just take my word that they were both amusing and offensive, the balance depending on your own point of view.
  • There already is a game based on this, to a large degree -- Marcus Rowland's Diana: Warrior Princess is based on treating modern-day Europe/America in the same way that Xena: Warrior Princess treated ancient Greece.

    There's also a PDF supplement, Elvis: The Legendary Tours -- adding new settings, new characters and gods, the Mystic Power of Music, Elvis Impersonators, the martial art of Sudoku, and much much more.

    I think there's definitely room for Caucasian Adventures, though. I'm pondering ideas for it now. It should really be a take-off of D&D's "Oriental Adventures" in a similar way to how Rowland sends up Xena.
  • I have to post Jonathan's map:
    Posted By: Jonathan Waltonimage
  • I sort of think there needs to be a "MIDWEST" between california and virginia.

    New York is obviously between Virginia and Vinland (Los Angeles is the islands off the coast of California, for sure). We need a 'York' somewhere too (because who can have a 'new' without the 'old'). Make it the capital of the Holy Roman Empire or something.
  • Posted By: LxndrI sort of think there needs to be a "MIDWEST" between california and virginia.

    New York is obviously between Virginia and Vinland (Los Angeles is the islands off the coast of California, for sure). We need a 'York' somewhere too (because who can have a 'new' without the 'old'). Make it the capital of the Holy Roman Empire or something.
    I think you're thinking about this too hard. We're not trying to do a realistic historical game, after all. We just want to capture the important flavor of the Caucasian peoples.

    I think the map is fine. I think the next step is to work out Caucasian mythology. Remember, though, we need to codify it so that it's understandable to the average gamer. Don't bore them with all the details. I'll try to do a first pass shortly.
  • there should be two games here, a quick play for people first picking things up and wanting to take a spin, and an extended game for people who are into more crunch.

    these should be called plain and extra plain
  • If you print it on white paper, I'll f'kin glass someone.
  • Posted By: Kevin Allen Jrthese should be called plain and extra plain
    I'm thinking "dry" and "with mayo."
  • Does it have authentic Caucasian fighting styles? I want to do headbutting and glassing! That shit is cool.

    Graham
  • Does it have authentic Caucasian fighting styles?
    Don't forget "corporation acquisition" style, "frivolous lawsuit" technique & "calling in a favor"-fu.

    I am doomed to write up some Actual Play.
  • Posted By: Ryan MacklinPosted By: Kevin Allen Jrthese should be called plain and extra plain
    I'm thinking "dry" and "with mayo."

    See, I immediately thought of "Vanilla" and then maybe, I dunno, "French Vanilla."
  • So rather than try to write something up completely, here are some of my thoughts on Caucasian mythology. Now, it's important to remember that in reality, Caucasians aren't actually all one culture. Actually, they don't even speak the same language! Thus, "Caucasian" mythology will actually a mix of different sources. But I think to have playable PC clerics, we need to simplify.

    One thing which not many people know is that the word "Caucasian" comes from the Caucasus mountains in Europe. This regions had a fascination for most of the Caucasians, and it was where one of their important gods, Prometheus, comes from.

    So, let's take some prominent gods:

    Prometheus - God of Progress

    The god who brought fire to mankind and furthered technology. He can also take the form of an eagle, and that is used as a symbol for many of the Caucasians. As an eagle, he can throw arrows from his claws -- this is a symbol of the power of progress, and the Caucasians still use this symbol today.

    The Mighty Thor - God of Strength

    One of their popular gods, he wears a winged helmet and flies using a magic hammer. He is also known as "The Avenger", and his followers as "The Avengers".

    Santa Claus - God of Wealth

    He generally appears as a jovial fat man dressed in red, and he has a flying sleigh and a enormous bag full of valuable stuff. He lives in the frozen north of Caucasian, where he has armies of elven servants.

    Venus - Goddess of Beauty

    She is known by several names, including Aprodite ("ah pro dit") and Marilyn Monroe. She is also the goddess of the sea, and is often associated with beaches and the sea. She rides in a giant clamshell that can appear anywhere from the sea.

    Jesus - God of the Sun

    He is often pictured with a glowing light coming from him, and his holy day is "Sunday". Sometimes he is simply called the Sun God. He is closely associated with Santa Claus, and on his holy day his followers will dress in their most expensive clothes and gather to compare who has the finest.

    I think that's sufficient for the moment. We need to give them their spell domains, I guess.
  • edited July 2007
    Offensive Caucasian Character Classes anyone?

    White Trash
    Hick
    Legal Eagle
    Trust Fund Baby
    MBA (Specializations: Corporate Raider, Vulture Capitalist, White Collar Criminal)
    Hollywood Star(let)
  • The Holy Ghost: God of Death.

    This evil-aligned God is the master of necromancy and the undead. Widely misunderstood and feared, his dark cults nonetheless exist in every city in Caucasia. He has no holy days, but his worshippers will congregate in eery "midnight masses" where they drink blood.

    yrs--
    --Ben
  • I love the gods. Especially "Jesus - God of the Sun".
  • More character classes for Caucasians:

    - President/Prime Minister
    - Queen
    - Astronaut
    - CEO
    - Suffragette
    - Crusader
    - Idle Rich
    - Klansman
    - Nun/Monk
    - Hockey/Lacrosse Player
    - Socialist
    - Police Officer
    - Televangelist
    - Witch/Sorcerer
    - Cowboy/girl
    - Hippie
    - Minuteman
    - Hacker
    - Brewer
    - Skateboarder

    Don't forget to include a sidebox on how Caucasia is patriarchal society in which women are second class citizens and denied basic rights. However, [set of excuses and lame options for making female characters more playble].
  • Nuns and monks have to have martial arts powers, arbitrarily and for no reason.

    yrs--
    --Ben
  • I love you guys. ^_^
  • Oh! New Prestige Class: The Apologist - The guy who tries to adopt the customs of another culture.
  • edited July 2007
    As is always the case, the perfect ruleset for Caucasian Adventures has already been written. It's called Primetime Adventures.

    Dogs In the Vineyard is also perfectly suited, using the existing setting.
  • edited July 2007
    There are too many classes. Keep in mind that this is just for fun; if a gamer is interested in Caucasian culture, we can reference some good general sources like Poor Richard's Almanac, Fear of a Black Planet, and www.savagearms.com.

    For starters, I would merge Witch/Sorcerer, Socialist, and Suffragette.

    EDIT: and there needs to be a gun on the cover.
  • edited July 2007
    Posted By: DanielSolisOh! New Prestige Class: The Apologist - The guy who tries to adopt the customs of another culture.
    I can't tell if this is really subtle and clever (advocating the controversial notion of multiculturalism? advocating the controversial notion that other cultures have value?) or a non sequitur. Maybe it's just a joke intended to portray a misunderstanding of western European schools of philosophical thought?
  • More making fun of nerdy white guys who go overboard in the ethnic-philia. (In the style of Vanilla Ice.) :P
  • Posted By: Call Me CurlyAs is always the case, the perfect ruleset for Caucasian Adventures has already been written. It's called Primetime Adventures.

    Dogs In the Vineyard is also perfectly suited, using the existing setting.
    I'd been assuming we were writing for something D&D-ish, since the title seems clearly inspired by the Oriental Adventures supplement -- and it split off from a thread on a Mythic India D&D-like game.

    I can picture a PtA "Caucasian Adventures" game. After all, the Caucasian people do have their own television shows, and some of them are even known outside of Caucasia. (Note: I know that there isn't really such a sharp division of what "Caucasia" is, but I think everyone knows what I'm talking about.) However, I think it would end up being more about television than being about game stuff like Oriental Adventures -- and I'd prefer to parallel the game stuff.
  • edited July 2007
    Posted By: DanielSolisMore making fun of nerdy white guys who go overboard in the ethnic-philia. (In the style of Vanilla Ice.) :P
    Ah, right, you're playing off the connection between Apologism, Apologetics, and Evangelism. Gotcha. Very nice, actually - portraying a main thrust of western European philosophical thought as a synonym for rabid fanboys. That's precisely the sort of casual glossing-over that highlights the deep but unconscious disrespect that we're striving for. Huzzah!

    Time to punch out some random religious beliefs and affiliations tables...
  • Some more:

    The Televangelist
    The Self-Recriminating Liberal
    The Green Peacer
    The Aging Hipster
    The Grunge Rocker
    The Surfer Dude
    The Valley Boy/Girl
    The Nouveau Riche
    The Blue Blood
  • What Feats do you get when you're a Sun God cleric from Oz?
  • EDIT: and there needs to be a gun on the cover.
    No no no. Keep the gun off the cover, and in the book's weapon section talk about all the merits and benefits of gun control (simultaneously with the right to bear arms) just before the huge gun-weapon list.
  • I can picture a PtA "Caucasian Adventures" game. After all, the Caucasian people do have their own television shows
    Certainly. Such as "The 34th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards, hosted by Bob Barker"; "Grease and Grill Fire Safety for the Burger King Team Member";
    and "All Anal Gangbang Vice Presidential Debate".

    Any of which would be suitable for a WhitePunk PtA campaign.

    However "something D&D-ish" would better reflect Caucasian culture's intense focus on "leveling-up".
  • I think you need racial modifiers for Albinos. You know, the race with red hair and freckles. They drink whisky and have Drunken Master Brawling skills.
  • Long ago, the Caucasian people were divided into two distinct social classes: The Nobels and the Peasants. They were distinguished in part by the color of their blood. Then there was a Great Revolution, in which most of the Nobels were rounded up and executed using ingeniously devised machines against which they had no defense. Some of these devices may still exist in museums or hidden treasure caches.

    In modern times, there are still Nobels, but they are chosen on the basis of merit in Caucasian fields of study, such as Literature, Math and Money. A ceremony is held once a year in Knudepunkt to choose these new Nobels.
  • I totally want the inhabitants of Knudepunkt to be called "punks" and their culture be derived mainly from the punk subculture. Especially if they're handing out the Nobel prizes.
  • These whiteploitation RPGs have gone too far.


    May the peace of Pat Sajak ever shine upon you,
    Roger
  • edited July 2007
    Ancient Greek/Roman/Viking/Neanderthal magical artifacts and catacombs need to be everywhere.

    Also, can Caucasia be surrounded by a wall of fire that keeps it isolated and ethnically homogenous from the rest of the world? Or maybe just a Wall Of Loathing?
  • All Caucasian people have access to special Caucasian Magic, known as "The System". Use of The System allows Caucasian people to gain wealth, acquire houses, and defeat others in Caucasian Dueling Arenas, known as "The Courts". Higher level Caucasian Magic rituals make use of Caucasian Magic Documents, such as credit cards, deeds, degrees and injunctions. Some high level characters can craft these Magic Documents.

    Caucasian adventurers without skill in Caucasian Magic are still playable characters. As a bonus for taking the disadvantage "Can't use The System", these characters receive +2 to their "Cool" stat (although they are still limited by the Caucasian cap of 12 on this attribute).
  • edited July 2007
    Initiate Feats

    Though all of the Caucasian gods have devoted followers, some go to greater lengths than most. These individuals are known as Initiates. Any worshiper with a Devotion rating greater than 6 qualifies to select an appropriate Initiate feat, but beware! Only the loyal can maintain the benefits (see chapter 12: faith and heresy).

    An Initiate of a god qualifies for all of the god's Martial Combat feats and proficiencies as though they were a monk or nun of that god.


    Initiate of Prometheus
    Initiates of Prometheus are advocates of technology and mechanization. Recently, the faithful of Prometheus have been called upon to venture beyond even the land itself, as their god did. The Initiates of Prometheus are at the forefront of this movement, and, despite setbacks, are working on a great ship that will carry them to distant home of their god.

    Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Evangelical damage, and receive a bonus die on Progressive damage rolls.

    Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Prometheus feat may treat all spells with the [Fire] descriptor as spells known.

    Initiate of Thor
    Initiates of Thor are great hockey players, firefighters, and construction workers. Many of the strongest of Thor's Initiates compete in a continual set of wrestling tournaments held in Thor's honor - raucous spectacles that are often interrupted by other Initiates. Nevertheless, these tournaments are the cornerstone of daily worship for Thor's faithful. The ranks of Thor's Avengers are drawn from the winners of these tournaments, and to be one of Thor's Avenger's is the highest honor an Initiate of Thor can dream of.

    Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Slamming damage and Submission damage, and receive a bonus die on improved weapon attack rolls.

    Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Thor feat may treat all spells with the [Wrestling] descriptor as spells known.

    Initiate of Santa Claus

    Wealth is the domain of Santa Claus, so it is only proper that the Initiates of Santa Claus are among the wealthiest of all Caucasians. Following their god's example, Initiates of Santa Claus are always plump and finely dressed, and carry large bags of wealth. These bags are usually labeled to indicate the amount contained, such as 50 lbs. for a bag containing 50 pounds sterling (see chapter 4: daily life in Caucasia). Initiates of Santa Claus use these bags to smite their enemies and reward loyalty in their servants and slaves.

    Benefit: Initiates of Santa Claus are immune to Frosty damage, owing to their mastery over snowy monsters, and receive a bonus die on Pragmatic damage rolls.

    Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Santa Claus feat may cast all spells with the [Sterling] descriptor as though they were two levels higher.

    Venus - Goddess of Beauty
    Stunning and captivating, Initiates of Venus bring joy and strife in equal measures. Regardless of what they use their talents and abilities for, Initiates of Venus are always able to bring attention to themselves. They regularly take part in strange sexual rites which are recorded and used as part of daily worship among Venus's faithful (see chapter 19: the interweb-net).

    Benefit: Initiates of Prometheus are immune to Psychoanalysis damage, and receive a bonus die on Binding attack rolls.

    Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Venus feat may treat all spells with the [Cosmetician] descriptor as spells known.

    Jesus - God of the Sun
    Initiates of Jesus promote the traditional ways of Caucasian culture. As the oldest Caucasian god, Jesus favors the old ways, and his Initiates fight against those who would alter them. They seek to bring the ways of the Sun God to the forefront in all things. Jesus, acting through important Caucasian leaders, regularly delivers orders and directions to his Initiates, and the Initiates of Jesus are always quick to respond.

    Benefit: Initiates of Jesus are immune to Progressive damage, and receive a bonus die on Evangelical damage rolls.

    Spells: Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of Jesus feat may treat all spells with the [Sun] descriptor as spells known.

    The Holy Ghost: God of Death.
    Initiates of The Holy Ghost have learned the secrets of time and decay, and many use this to remain perpetually young in appearance. They attempt to convert temples of other gods, most often Jesus, to their faith, and use them as the sites of their Midnight Masses and cannibalistic rituals of blood-drinking and flesh-eating. As masters of undeath, they have the power to transform ordinary matter into undead fluids and tissues. Many Initiates wear elaborate makeup, tall hats and robes, and other disguises to hide their true identities.

    Benefit: Initiates of The Holy Ghost are immune to Traditional damage, and receive a bonus die on Existential damage rolls.

    Spells:
    Law-Priests and similar spellcasters with the Initiate of The Holy Ghost feat may treat all spells with the [Gothic] descriptor as spells known.
  • The traditional resolution mechanics are all well and good, but I think we need something a bit more Caucasian-feeling for CA. Maybe use a classic Caucasian game like Caucasian Shatranj?
  • Lawn darts?
  • [note: to keep the game accessible to most gamers, I really think we should root the classes strongly in the time-tested Caucasian classics. Now, I know we can debate endlessly as to whether Bankers or Shylocks are really more important to Caucasian culture, but let's try to move past the minutia and keep our eyes on the big picture. I've wrote up a quick introductory section for gamers who aren't familiar with the Caucasian cannon. I know these Top 3 lists always start a flamewar, but I think history has borne me out here. Anyway, we can always stick other important films, magazines, etc... in the Secondary Sources list. And yeah, I know they're all movies - but it's much quicker and easier to get a new gamer into Caucasian culture with a movie than by telling them to read a dozen books.]


    Primary Sources

    If you're new to Caucasian culture, don't worry! It may seem intimidating, but take the time to bone up a bit and you'll be "mixing it up" like a pro in no time. Here's the three movies that we feel best represent Caucasian culture and the Caucasian cannon. You can find them at most rental stores with a good foreign selection.

    The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
    This is a very popular movie among Caucasians, and its easy to see why: it gives a great overview of the geography of California and Virgina, with their sweeping deserts and harsh plains. The main characters are all Cowboys of various Caucasian races - Angel Eyes is a clearly a Roman, Tuco's high Insulation score marks him as a Vinlander, and Blondie's mysterious powers mark him as an Aslandian. They are all worshipers of Santa Claus, on a great quest to find a store of wealth to ensure their god's good graces. It's also an excellent depiction of authentic Caucasian fighting styles. There are also several other classes depicted, including the Soldier, Dealer, and Monk/Nun. All in all, it's a great source - go find it!

    Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
    This wonderful movie provides two big benefits to the newcomer to Caucasian culture - plenty of information about Surfers, and an overview of Caucasian history. Two surfers, Bill and Ted, explore Caucasian history as they quest to fulfill a Prophecy of Prometheus. Since Bill and Ted themselves are both clearly worshipers of Thor, it's also a good example of how different faiths can work together in Caucasian culture. Almost every one of the core Caucasian classes and races are in this movie at some point. It's not as in-depth as the other two Primary Sources, but it makes up in breadth what it lacks in depth. We can recommend this one highly enough. Though its a bit hard to find, you should definitely take the time to seek it out. If you can find the sequel, you're in for a treat - a close encounter with The Holy Ghost himself!

    Short Circuit
    This movie is a passionate and controversial examination of modern Caucasia's most turbulent minority group - robots. While these second-class citizens are derided in many movies as cruel villains and dimwitted thugs, Short Circuit gives a decidedly more understanding treatment. Through a metaphoric "awakening," Johnny 5 and his non-robot peers come to understand and respect each other. In addition to exploring these all-too current cultural issues, the movie has an excellent example of a Vinlander Scientologist who helps "create" Johnny 5 (he's a worshiper of Prometheus, like many Engineers and Scientologists) and several Agents (though they keep their more interesting abilities in check).
  • This comic is a pretty good representation of what a good Caucasian adventure should look like.
  • edited July 2007
    Posted By: Simon CThis comicis a pretty good representation of what a good Caucasian adventure should look like.
    Epic win - Caucasian style!

    image
  • You know, just to be semi-serious for a second, at the back of Gygax's 1985 "Oriental Adventures," he does a fairly nice 2-page summary of the basics of Chinese & Japanese feudal culture. This isn't meant to excuse the general wrongheadedness of "Oriental Adventures" as a concept and as a product, but as far as that particular setting material goes, people have done much worse (viz., Kara-Tur Campaign Setting, which is 100x bigger and utterly useless).

    Given the enormity and complexity of the subject matter, and an admittedly artificially-imposed limit of 1000 words or so, I would be shocked if someone could do much better.
  • Given the enormity and complexity of the subject matter, and an admittedly artificially-imposed limit of 1000 words or so, I would be shocked if someone could do much better.
    James, is that a design challenge? (Write a "foreign" campaign setting in 1000 words that doesn't promote stereotypes or racism?) Because it certainly smells like one.
  • edited July 2007
    Posted By: Jonathan WaltonJames, is that a design challenge? (Write a "foreign" campaign setting in 1000 words that doesn't promote stereotypes or racism?) Because it certainly smells like one.
    And, imho, much more appealing and constructive than 90% of what's going on in this thread.
  • Posted By: AgentFreshAnd, imho, much more appealing and constructive than 90% of what's going on in this thread.
    Threadjacking a split-off threadjack of a threadjack? An intriguing gambit. But I fear that you are too late, Agent Fresh: the creation has taken on a life of its own. We shall see who proves the stronger!
  • Clearly there should be only a few classes. As such:

    Blonde Hair: Powerful charisma and appearance bonuses. Skilled at intrigue and seduction bonuses. Several special secretarial feats.

    Blond Hair: Powerful charisma and appearance bonuses. Skilled at surfing and partying. Several special pretty boy feats.

    Brown/Black Hair: Probably a banker or lawyer or librarian. As such, powerful intelligence and technology bonuses. Skilled at beurocracy and financing. Several special workplace-specific feats.

    Red Hair: Fiesty and assertive, with powerful strength and appearance bonuses. Skilled at fighting and sex. Several bezerker rage feats.

    White Hair: Additional 500,000 starting gold. Skilled at buying and selling.
  • Caucasian names can be confusing to the modern ear. Here's a handy list of names to generate an authentic-sounding caucasian name in seconds! Just roll once on each table to generate a first and last name. Optionally, you can generate a "middle" name as well.

    First Names:
    1. John
    2. Olaf
    3. King
    4. Hans
    5. Sparhawk
    6. Smith
    7. Frigg
    8. A.
    9. Archibald
    10. Hera
    11. Percivale
    12. Odin
    13. Lancelot
    14. Elvis
    15. Jean
    16. Wendy
    17. Joan
    18. Helga
    19. Francis
    20. Saint
    Last Names:
    1. Chaplin
    2. Churchill
    3. the Conqueror
    4. Svensdottor
    5. of Eastwick
    6. Hendrix
    7. Junior
    8. Bolton
    9. Esq.
    10. Stewart
    11. O'Rielly
    12. von Trapp
    13. Kevin
    14. D'eath
    15. Difranco
    16. from "Friends"
    17. Man
    18. Gabriel
    19. and the News
    20. Smithson
  • Posted By: Simon CCaucasian names can be confusing to the modern ear. Here's a handy list of names to generate an authentic-sounding caucasian name in seconds! Just roll once on each table to generate a first and last name. Optionally, you can generate a "middle" name as well...
    Wow... this is some epic win right here. Only one of the Ultimate Paragons of the Caucasian peoples can express this properly: the only Caucasian to ever have a Coolness of 13.

    image
  • edited July 2007
    Posted By: joepubClearly there should be only a few classes. As such:
    White Hair: Additional 500,000 starting gold. Skilled at buying and selling.
    Shouldn't white and gray hair be prestige classes?
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