Six-Bang: The ¡Muy Macho! RPG (caution, language)

edited April 2006 in Story Games
You want to play the ¡Muy Macho! RPG? Fuck you! No, fuck you!

There are six players. If you have seven players, stab six of them! The one who is not stabbed does not get to play. If you have five players, cut yourself in half!

1. "What does the GM do?"

He rots in the cemetery, where we buried him in 1996!

2. "What do the players do?"

Pain is weakness leaving the body!

3. "What is the game's currency?"

Players bring to the table a double handful of d6s. If you run out of dice, declare a disaster on another player. If that player accepts the disaster, take her dice.

Player Uno: "I have run out of dice. Player Dos, your cat rapes your grandmother with a demon sword. Give me your dice."
Player Dos: "That is an awful thing to have happen!" (gives Player Uno all his dice)
Player Tres: "I, too, have run out of dice. Player Uno, your sword rapes your cat with a grand demon mother. Give me your dice."
Player Uno: "No, fuck you!" (stabs Player Tres)

4. "Wait, how do you run out of dice?"

Throw them at each other's faces. If it bleeds, you are playing right! If you flinch, commit seppuku! With the dice!

5. "Do characters advance, and if so, how?"

Your face is your character sheet. For every place you are bleeding, you may write a trait on your left neighbor's arm. For every missing tooth, you may upgrade one d6 to a d10, the pointy kind. At the end of a session, press your face into a paper towel and use a magic marker to connect the dots of blood. Then, make your left neighbor eat it.

6. "What part(s) of your game do you have concerns about and/or want some additional feedback?"

¡No, fuck you!


  • I want to play this game.
  • Did Tony say you could write the ¡Muy Macho! RPG, wiseguy? Tu es not ¡Muy Macho!! Hang your head in shame.

  • (gives Larry all his dice)
  • Macho guys don't ask permission, nor beg forgiveness. They just take what's coming to them.
  • Wait, do we stab with knives?


  • Of course not! What kind of ¡Muy Macho! player doesn't own an authentic Duncan Macleod reproduction katana?
  • What kind of ¡Muy Macho! player doesn't own an authentic Duncan Macleod reproduction katana?
    The fuck did you just say?

    You are no longer speaking of the ¡Muy Macho!. You have gone wrong.
  • How can I be wrong, ese? So all the ¡Muy Macho! guys have katana swords, I saw this on television! So they are all Scottish, except for Lorenzo Lamas! So they all have ponytails! Just so!

    So all the ¡Muy Macho! players live on a river! So they all cook a good fish, a tender fresh fish! So they all use parsley on the fish! So the parsley is the kind you get in a plastic container in the spice aisle, not the bunches you get in the organic vegetable section! So the organic vegetables come from Chile! Just so!

    I will cut off my tiny face!
Sign In or Register to comment.