Strangely, my heart is not broken

edited June 2007 in Story Games
I bet you are not a sufficiently masterful RPGer to appreciate this. Fool.

Ok, Blow My Mind: What is so Special about Metascape II?!
MetaScape II is a very advanced role playing game targeting a mature, experienced audience. To successfully grasp this system and wield its power, you need to be mature and intelligent. Seriously, if you're not at least in upper high school or college with above average intelligence and maturity level, this system is NOT for you. Go download or buy one of the many RPGs designed for more mainstream players. If you are new to role playing, leave now.
This system was designed by master RPGers with a target audience of themselves. It is not made for, nor targets the mass market. The rules are advanced, extremely thorough, and often complex. We placed it out here on the net for a select few other masters to play and enjoy, not for typical gamers. It would take a typical gamer weeks to fumble through the rules and attempt to play.
OK, the warning has been made. We realize that some will take this warning as a challenge or choose to ignore us. At least we can now present the rules with a clear conscious. If you are not one of the exceptional gamers of the world, well we warned you.

We have been having fun with this on NerdNYC, but check it out: the system handles
all forms of jumps

Does your crappy RPG cover all forms of jumps? Ha! I bet it doesn't. Metascape II covers all forms. Get up, and try jumping right now! That, my friends, is in the freakin' rules, written by masters, for masters.


  • the MetaScape II combat system has many unique elements. First, there is a separate attack and damage roll. You first hit, then do damage.
    My mind is indeed blown.
  • Posted By: James_NostackDoesyourcrappy RPG cover all forms of jumps? Ha! I bet it doesn't. Metascape II coversallforms. Get up, and try jumping right now! That, my friends, is in the freakin' rules, writtenby masters, for masters.
    If only I had this game back in '92. It would have helped me deal with my tragic Kris Kross Incident.
  • A d16 -- my life is complete.

    I feel kinda sorry for the "regular playtesters" that never made it to "master playtester" status.
  • edited June 2007
    Indeed I did! But you guys weren't awesome enough to appreciate it the way I do, with my late-to-the-bandwagon ways.

    Also, Andy, if you want to delete this thread, please do--I can see I have been scooped.
  • edited June 2007
    Posted By: Ryan MacklinIf only I had this game back in '92. It would have helped me deal with my tragic Kris Kross Incident.
    Oh dear lord that was funny. :-)

    Question: Are there advanced rules for simply Jumping Around?

  • Dude, I forgot about the possibility of cars jumping. I wonder if there are rules for those too. There must be, I guess.
  • edited June 2007
    Does it have rules for jumping someone's bones? Jumping to conclusions? Jumping the gun?

    Man, I worry that a game with jumping rules this extensive could give Drowning and Falling a run for its money. Somebody's got to warn Jason!
  • Here is my complete Fantasy Heartbreaker. Be warned, it is not for the weak. For really real I meant it, you better be like at least in your late teens to be able to handle this.
    Advanced UltraSystem 4000
    We have throughly tested every role-playing game on the market, you better believe it, and found them lacking, so we have poured countless man-hours of blood, sweat, and tears into creating Advanced UltraSystem 4000, the perfect role-playing system. Unlike those other role-playing games, Advanced UltraSystem 4000 lets you do anything you can imagine. You really wouldn't like those other role-playing games. They suck. Tell people who spend money on those other games instead of Advanced UltraSystem 4000 that they are stupid, and judge them as mindless sheep until they buy Advanced UltraSystem 4000.

    What is role-playing?
    In role-playing games, you and your friends* try to accomplish impossible things before breakfast. There are no winners or losers, and bad things don't happen to good people. You may live out your wildest wish fulfillment scenarios, provided those scenarios involve jumping, drowning, or falling.

    *See Glossary

    The GM is always right.


    Friend: A Friend is someone who you can get to come over and be entralled by your True Game Mastery for upwards of eight hours at a stretch.
    GM: An all-powerful being. The GM is the most intelligent, creative, and attractive person imaginable. Since you gave us cash money for this book, that means you are that person.
    PC: A lesser species of human being which will surely gather in awe of your mastery of True Game Secrets, which we shall unveil in a coming supplement.
    Mileu: You don't know what "mileu" means? For real? C'mon, all the smart people know what "mileu" means. Example: In my fantasy mileu, erudite bookworms command godlike thaumaturgical dweomers.
    NPC: These are Friends which exist in the head of the GM. PCs interact with the GM through NPCs, in much the same way that one hopes to interact with God through the saints.
    Succubus: A foul temptress who will try to lure your PCs away from your sage guidance. A PC under the spell of a succubus will utter such insane phrases as, "Uh, I have a date" in lieu of being your Friend.

    SeCre7 GM sEct10N!!! DO NOT READ!!!!!!
    They never loved you for your game. They were just using you for your snacks.
    Ha hah! Now your heart is broken!
  • Larry,

    Do you have a paypal account where I can send you money for this game?
  • Larry,

    I think you need the word "neophyte" in there somewhere.
  • Dudez, your gamez are not nearly as maturez as deadEarth:

  • Reading the linked game from the OP was like being 14 all over again, complete with all the insecurities and awful attempts to quantify and mechanise everything.

    -All sorts of Jumping Burgonet
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